Dianne's Instagram account has quickly gone viral.
Dianne's Instagram account has quickly gone viral.

Dumped wife’s ultimate revenge

REMEMBER where you are right now as you're reading this sentence; these moments will be the last few in your life before you knew about the one true gift of 2018.

Your very sense of time will now be bifurcated into the before (blah) and the after: When you followed Dumped Wife's Revenge, the best Instagram account in all recorded history, and everything changed.

Dumped Wife's Revenge is the creation of Dianne Laurance, Western Australian - based businesswoman, lifestyle guru, posi-vibes influencer, and international WHIP, who has been posting for the last year under one simple premise: "I want to inspire women to always be their fabulous best," her website reads, "Apparently I sux as a wife."

If that little spelling quirk makes you pause and think, 'who is this strange, magical storyteller?'-consider it a gateway into the subtle kicks, cackles, and kooky pearls of wisdom that this good witch/godmother has to offer.

Here's a Dumped Wife's Revenge primer: Laurance posts nearly every day, in a figure-flattering outfit (often leopard-print, occasionally athleisure), with an alliterative caption dedicated to the appropriate lesson: "Authentic agelessness achieved," for example.

 

In video messages, she describes aspects of her empowered Dumped Wife's lifestyle, like what she gets out of travelling, dressing up for special occasions, working on a business venture, or just hanging out by herself.

She speaks slowly and clearly, with a quasi-Sonja Morgan, "caburlesque" musical cadence, as if her voice is Prancercising.

 

We always get a glimpse of some gorgeous West Australian vista or her art-filled home, or she's sitting in what she calls the Dumped Wife's Chair - that's where she delivers "Dizey's Doozys," weekly titbits that are kind of Dumped Wife's truisms. (A recent example: "The haters are going to hate and the lovers are going to love, and the majority don't give a damn.")

In the video below, for example, Laurance talks about benefits of diversity in front of a nude portrait of herself holding a fur coat.

She ends many of her videos with a laugh and a tongue-click accompanied by a finger-gun, like she's telling the viewer to giddy-up.

 

Dumped Wife's Revenge gives us the model of freedom we crave in a season seemingly defined by beautiful young people inexplicably getting engaged and crying about it in public.

Instead, Laurance leans into the zero-f*cks life in a way that most internet personalities and self-professed "authentic" celebrities only pretend to; her account has the manic energy associated with a recent crop of WHIPS ("women who are hot, intelligent, and in their prime") who, newly coming to social media, use it without any kind of pretence - think Goldie Hawn, Cher, and Martha Stewart - or the intense level of curation we're used to seeing. (Even when Laurance realised she spelled Vogue wrong in a post about this interview, she didn't take it down, she just wrote in the caption, "Apologies to Vogue for spelling mistake. Dammmmmmmmmmmn.")

 

Laurance's confidence is essential to the Dumped Wife's Revenge project, which came out of what she interpreted as a "challenge" from her ex-husband, who left her for a younger woman after 26 years of marriage.

Her divorce was finalised only 18 months ago; the split was traumatic, she recounted to Vogue during a recent phone interview.

She had discovered that her ex was seeing someone else, and confronted him.

His response was to tell her that, "When two people have been together for a long time and they break up, there's always one who thrives and one who doesn't," Laurance recalled.

She was staying with a girlfriend when she woke in the middle of the night, and she knew immediately what she had to do.

 

Dumped Wife's Revenge is a labour of love for Dizey, as her adult sons call her.

Laurance is a "lifelong entrepreneur" who had to sell her successful wine business in the Margaret River region in the wake of her divorce, though the windfall allows her to focus on her Instagram account.

She uses a professional photographer - "When I go away I take him with me" - and has an assistant who actually posts for her, though she creates all the content and responds to commenters herself.

The result is that some of the Dumped Wife's content is delightfully homemade, while other photography veers towards the type more common to professional social media presences.

 

In Laurance's worldview, the wisdom she's gained from being dumped has far-reaching applications: Her account provides guidance so that her followers can "get over dumps in their lives," whether that means you've lost "your job, or you lose all your money."

Though she maintains that she has "no bitterness" toward her ex-husband, she recalls that her reinvention was necessary to get through her rather nasty divorce.

"I really don't want to get into that," she says of having to settle matters in court, "but I won. I won, that's all I want to say, I won for the girls."

When asked if she calls herself a feminist, Laurance responded, "We all are, please, don't let anybody tell me there's not one woman who's not a feminist."

 

Letting it all hang out is essential to the Dumped Wife's ethos.

And there's something amazing about seeing Laurance striking the classic Insta-influencer's poses with the best of them - as well as watching her break completely out of the typical blogger mode, like when she filmed herself talking on a beach about having "a public holiday just to applaud and appreciate the vagina."

When she started her account, her sons asked that she only "keep her clobber on", a request to which she has largely acquiesced.

 

For now, she's working on a public sculpture art project in Busselton, near her home in Western Australia, and "having a lot of fun" with her dating life.

"I'm just enjoying a young man when I feel like enjoying a young man," she says.

As for any of them showing up on Instagram, she's "been thinking about whether I should show just the back of the odd young man without showing his face" (this idea received hearty support from this interviewer).

And, of course, she's planning on being on TV, with a semisecret project currently in the works.

These days, Laurance wants to be an influencer, literally: "Growing up, I really would have loved to have had somebody to influence me, and I never did."



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