Tomorrow is still dad's day of days
COME Father's Day tomorrow, many dads will reflect on their role in this confused world.
A new study conducted by the creators of a fatherhood documentary Being Dad has revealed some intriguing results.
“It seems that despite our best efforts to be prepared, 28 per cent of dads-to-be felt they were not ready to be a father during pregnancy,” noted the Australian producers of the global documentary.
As well, they found 58pc felt worse off financially, 12pc wondered if the baby was really their's, 37pc said their major emotion after the birth was relief, 42pc drove home from hospital more carefully, and 60pc said they didn't have sex for at least two months after the birth.
Closer to home, seasoned fathers have revealed how 'full-on' their role is today.
“It seems like nothing can prepare you for fatherhood. It is a step into the unknown,” said Ben Weekes, of Evans Head, the father of four kids ranging from a baby to a teenager.
“I didn't expect it to be as demanding or constant. I'm still figuring out that if I don't allow time and give time to my children … if I stick with my own agenda the family suffers.”
“Fatherhood is kind of like going to the beach for a swim,” he said.
“You go there and the sea looks inviting. It looks good at first. Like when you think about having kids. And then you jump in and get caught in a rip. If you fight against that flow you find yourself frustrated.”
After the birth of his third child Ben said the home front was 'just hanging in there'. But after the fourth child, the family's first girl, 'it was like … Ahhh!'.
“I was thinking, 'No point fussing about tidiness and order. Everything just lands where it falls,” he said.
“I love my kids heaps, it was just unexpected how intense and constant they would be.”
For some fathers, absence makes the heart grow fonder. There are many who never experience their children growing up. Some are more fortunate.
For professional wrestler Hadley Zedras, best known for his stage role as ZZ Hook, a split with his wife left his only son fatherless from the age of two.
But a phone call from son to father a decade later changed all that.
“After years of absence, my 12-year-old son Jaxson rang me and said, 'Dad, you need to be here'.
That plea took Mr Zedras off the road as a professional wrestler and brought him to Evans Head to live closer to his growing son.
“I've been here six years and in that time the transition has been a phenomenal experience,” he said.
“I see myself in Jaxson, in the way he conducts himself. It is amazing to see that. The fact that I got the phone call from my son literally blew me away.”