LETS ROLL: Drive thru works on so many levels.
LETS ROLL: Drive thru works on so many levels. Christian Morrow

If Byron can't have drive-thru Maccas, what can we have?

HERE in Byron Shire we like to congratulate ourselves on how spiritual we are.

But we don't really like to stray too far from our cars if we are forced to leave the comfort of the Jason recliner and the flat screen.

If we have to park more than 20 feet from our destination we are not happy rate payers.

And if we have to pay to park more than 20 feet from our destination then we completely lose our shit.

So the Drive Thru is the logical solution. Fast food drive thru is an absolute no-brainer for Byron but local gastro-fascists and political-correctivists have ruled them out.

So if we can't have a Kentucky Fried Hungry Maccas drive thru here's a compromise list of politically correct drive thrus.

Drive Thru Parenting: We've all done our fair share of this already. Kick the kiddies out of the car at the beach break or the local soccer field on a freezing cold morning, settle in with a latte keeping your eyes peeled on the action. Pump the horn when someone gets barrelled or scores a goal or that annoying kid who keeps slide tackling everyone gets sent off. Send the kids home with one of their friends "as a treat" so they don't get the car muddy (Parenting 101 really).

Drive Thru Sommelier: Say you are looking for a cheeky little Pinot Noir to have with the venison ceviche your live in Brazilian woofer is preparing tonight (once she's finished building the stone retaining wall and minding your kids all day). The drive through sommelier, complete with silver tasting cup, appears at your car window with a selection of wines. Remember to spit or you'll be over the limit before you leave the bottlo.

Drive Thru Democracy: Byron council should hold it meetings on the traffic island on Ewingsdale Road at the corner of Bayshore Drive, in the glare coming off Byron's favourite sculpture. Ratepayers can shout helpful suggestions as they drive past with council staff keeping score. If you are particularly concerned over an agenda item you could chuck a 'doughie' all the way around and they'll get the message big time.

Drive Thru Spiritual Cleansing: Take the Range Rover through the custom built corrugated iron cleansing dojo, roll down the window and someone will chuck in a ball of smoking sage bush- just make sure you haven't got children strapped in the back seat- it's a hard one to explain to DOCS if the sage ricochets.

Drive Through Water Birth: Really could just be a converted car wash with whale song piped in. For added effect you could leave the car window open so the interior fills with water. That's really just a once time only thing as your comprehensive won't cover it. 

Drive Thru Communion: Knock a couple of holes in the church wall either side of the communion rail and roll on through as the priest hands in an Arnott's communion Tim Tam that has been pre-blessed at the factory.

Five minutes in and out, your soul is saved, and you can be on your way to do a bit more Drive Thru Parenting.



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