Opinion: Lock up your Tim Tams
DECIDING on a new appliance these days is fraught with danger.
In years gone by, the old Silent Knight or Crosby refrigerator didn't change from one year to the next.
Now, you snooze, you lose.
A washing machine you admired on the floor of a department store last week is likely to have been superceded this week, and the newer model comes with more bells and whistles - some of which you never knew you actually needed.
The new refrigerator I bought a couple of weeks ago has a lockable compartment.
I don't quite know who thought that up, and the instruction manual tells me that it's for medications.
I suppose that's a good idea and, mercifully, not yet needing any drugs that are worthy of a lock-up, I've found it quite handy for Tim Tams as I usually only get a craving for them late at night and I can't be bothered fiddling around unlocking the compartment when I'm sleepy.
I've had an unopened packet sitting in there for two weeks, and that's something I never thought I'd be able to write, frankly.
Apart from the alarmingly expensive Italian retro-styled fridges, which come in appealing pastels guaranteed to match nothing else in one's kitchen, the only colour choice we ordinary individuals who don't have millions to spend is stainless steel or white.
I've gone for the steel, thereby guaranteeing that I will be cleaning off fingerprints for the remainder of my life.
I've had quite a few visitors since my move and it's remarkable how few of them actually touch the handle when opening or closing the fridge door.
It almost makes me long for the Harvest Gold and avocado days of the 60s and 70s.
For those of you too young to remember, those were two colour choices introduced to appliances en masse.
They sadly failed to co-ordinate with the lime green or burnt orange benchtops that were all the rage at the time.
This fridge I've bought also has, puzzlingly, side panels that have been made to look like leather.
Now why one would want a leather fridge is beyond me, but there you have it.
Along with the Tim Tam safe, this refrigerator of mine also has LED lighting inside powerful enough to illuminate a runway at an airport; I virtually have to wear sunglasses when I open the door.
And it makes noises. Actually, all my appliances make noises now.
They buzz, chime and sing me little songs.
There are beeps and dings happening all the time, and half of them I have yet to identify.
I'm glad I don't have a doorbell; I'd be rushing to see who was at the door every five minutes only to discover that the dishwasher was done.