Office shorts fad may give blokes a leg-up

I PURCHASED a pair of stirrup leggings the other day.

“Nooooooooo!” shouted my stepmother in horror.

“The eighties are returning!”

Indeed they are, I thought scandalously to myself.

Finally my naturally frizzy and uncontrollable hair will soon be envied by every girl ... or guy who keeps a close eye on the latest fashion mags.

An elated male colleague sent me an email with what is apparently coming into fashion for the business blokes.

“Office shorts” they are titled.

Shorts suitable (well arguably suitable) for the office.

They go perfectly (arguably again) with a suit jacket.

I don't know what to think about these shorts.

I think as a fashion idea they are somewhat “short”-sighted, or the trend will be “short”-lived (such a “dad” joke).

There are some things women shouldn't wear and this goes for blokes as well.

But at least if women don't have perfect legs (and who does?) then they can at least wear stockings or tights (or stirrup leggings) to cover any imperfections.

I am hoping, but you never know with any type of fashion going on these days, that blokes won't start wearing stockings with their office shorts.

However, I did once go to a fluoro 21st party and the birthday boy was wearing fluoro green tights with denim shorts, but that's another column.

Perhaps young men should go back to wearing the ever-so-stylish and business-like ribbed knee-high socks and possibly the tourniquet things that kept them up.

And while they're at it, they should all wear ties and those tie pins or even bow ties.

Urgg!

I think if men are going to wear office shorts then there must be some criteria in place.

If you're wearing them as business attire then they have to be respectable and therefore only men with good legs should wear them.

But what defines good legs?

Maybe we should just go by the rule that if people in your office gag the very first time you wear these office shorts then you probably should not wear them again ... ever.

Please don't tell me that guys are going to start shaving their legs just so they can wear their office shorts.

And the “I shave my legs because I play sport” is not an acceptable excuse especially if you are not a swimmer or cyclist and you don't need your legs to be aerodynamic for chess.

If these crazy fashion items are going to be appearing in our workplaces and some items from the eighties are coming back will we also see people wearing leg-warmers when they are clearly not dancers?

Are scrunchies going to come back on the scene with ladies wearing them on the sides of their heads like Kylie Minogue did in her film-clip for I Should Be So Lucky?

Skinny leg acid-wash jeans will be a fashion must, along with bike pants and cargo pants from the early nineties.

While we're at it, what about shoulder pads that people in the 1920s got right and the people in the eighties got oh so wrong?

I've noticed that if the styles aren't being exactly repeated they are being transferred through time just like how people who fit into the “emo” sub-culture dress.

I've come to the realisation that emos really are just bogans who can afford make-up.

They have either the dyed black mullet (usually with red foils) or, or as well, the frullet (the front mullet).

I have even seen these emo types wear flannelette shirts that now come fitted!

Where history repeated itself, now does fashion.

After this eighties phase is over perhaps we will go backwards.

We'll start having “disco fever” then back to the sixties for flower power then back to the fifties which was an era of apparent conformity.

High-wasted skirts and pants are back and the next thing we know is people will trade their cars for roller skates.

Well, it would be one way to get on top of fuel prices and reduce greenhouse gas emissions.



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