The Beards in Byron Bay.
The Beards in Byron Bay. Supplied

A life less stuble

NEED something to get past that itchy stubble?

Then check out The Beards – four Adelaide men whose lives revolve around their facial hair. Amelia Turner talks with drummer John Beardman Junior.

An interesting concept: music about beards ...
Well, we all had beards, and we were consequently unemployed, so we started writing beard-related songs as a reaction against society’s attitude towards facial hair.

We initially formed for just one gig, but because there was a demand for the bearded market we’ve gone on for six years.

Describe the perfect beard?
It’s thick, lush, bright red, and cannot be harmed by conventional razors.

I’m getting all tingly inside just thinking about it.

My father complains about finding the strangest things in his beard.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve found?
I try to keep my beard clean, and free of debris, but sometimes I use my beard to store my drumsticks.

You’re kicking off your 100 Beards tour in Byron Bay and aim to gain pledges from 100 men to grow beards. How will you celebrate if you achieve this?
We won’t celebrate – we expect to convince 100 people to grow beards, so when we do, we’ll just nod knowingly.

Why should girls consider hooking up with a bearded man?
That’s what our new single is about.

Everyone should be open to the idea.

The song is essentially about getting people to be a bit more open-minded and broadening their horizons.

For men considering growing a beard, what would you say to them?
I’d say it’s time to stop living a lie.

The beard is the natural state of the man, to shave it off is to deny your true manhood.

Anyone can grow a beard, but to keep a beard takes dedication.

Any tips for newbies stuck with stubble?
Man up, and persevere through the “stubble phase”.

Your beard will come, once it knows you are serious about walking the bearded path.

The Beards play The Northern Thursday, August 11. Doors open 8pm. Tickets $18.40/$19. Wear a beard and do Byron proud.

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