Life - don't ask why, just get on with it

I'VE heard that saying, as I'm sure have you: "Everything happens for a reason."

I'm not going to feed you rainbows and lollipops people, there came a stage in my life when I heard people say this and thought: "You're kidding yourself." 

Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people and I fail to find the logic in that, for example cancer and infant mortality. I rest my case.

Granted, this stage followed the death of my father (not cancer) but I was left with that burning question (Why?) and a little less love for this thing we call life.

It happens to us all at some point. I'm not special.

Those big life questions did play over in my head though and I found that the best mantra I could muster was "things happen because they can", so now the penny drops, here is the housewife getting cynical.

Well, just pull the wagon up there, not quite, maybe a little, but not totally. Besides, a shrink told me this so it must be fair and true.

I have just found, during my (comparatively) short experience on this earth, that if you try to make logic out of things that happen, you will start to lose yours.

Maybe as human beings that's our greatest flaw, asking why, when in fact we should be asking "Why not?"

What I have found is, that it's all about how you spin it, for example, if you lose your job.

There are two ways you can spin this - the first is to see it as the end of the world with nothing good to come from it and, to put the final nail in the coffin, ask that fatal question (often repeatedly) "Why me?"

The second is seeing this as an opportunity to meet new people, learn something, have new experiences and maybe even increase your income.

Now don't get me wrong, thinking this way is not an easy thing.

I grumbled around angry at the world and was quite "pointless" for a good year following dad's death and that was after I finished being really sad about it, which I was, for a long time, and sometimes still am. I'm okay with that.

You are the only person who can rescue you. True story.

I believe the only person who is going to step up and make my life awesome is me.

Sure, I have awesome people in my life. I married an awesome man with an awesome set of buns, even my dog is awesome.

But life is made by our reacting to what goes on around us or, more importantly, how we react to what goes on around us.

I think that the greatest thing we can do for ourselves and also those we love is to make something good of this thing called life.

Look for the positives we can make out of it and the things that happen to us while we are in the thick of it.

That and drink on a regular basis.

This column is featured in APN's new Weekend Magazine. Don't miss your new weekend lift-out each Saturday 



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