James Van Der Beek has shared his family’s experience with miscarriages. Picture: Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
James Van Der Beek has shared his family’s experience with miscarriages. Picture: Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

Dawson’s Creek star reveals family’s heartache

JAMES Van Der Beek revealed a piece of heartbreaking information about he and wife Kimberly Brook's journey to parenthood: she suffered three miscarriages.

"Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages … of which we've had three over the years (including right before this little beauty)," the former Dawson's Creek star captioned a photo of his newborn daughter Gwendolyn.

Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages... of which we’ve had three over the years (including right before this little beauty). First off - we need a new word for it. “Mis-carriage”, in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to “carry.” From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start. Second... it will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it’s rightful space. And then... once you’re able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before. Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you’ve been warned 😍). I’ve heard some amazing metaphysical explanations for them, mostly centering around the idea that these little souls volunteer for this short journey for the benefit of the parents... but please share whatever may have given you peace or hope along the way... Along with a new word for this experience. #miscarriage #WeNeedANewName #MoreCommonThanYouHearAbout @vanderkimberly

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on

 

"First off - we need a new word for it. 'Mis-carriage,' in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to 'carry'. From what I've learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn't do. So let's wipe all blame off the table before we even start."

Van Der Beek described his experiences with miscarriages as "heartbreaking" but noted that they shouldn't damper all hope about the future.

"It will tear you open like nothing else. It's painful and it's heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced," he said.

"So don't judge your grief, or try to rationalise your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it its rightful space. And then … once you're able … try to recognise the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before."

Van Der Beek and Brook have five children - Gwendolyn, 3 months, Olivia, 7, Joshua, 6, Annabel Leah, 4, and Emilia, 2. They've been married for almost eight years.

 

Michelle Williams as Jennifer, James Van Der Beek as Dawson, Katie Holmes as Joey and Joshua Jackson as Pacey in Dawson’s Creek.
Michelle Williams as Jennifer, James Van Der Beek as Dawson, Katie Holmes as Joey and Joshua Jackson as Pacey in Dawson’s Creek.

 

This article was originally published on the New York Post and is reproduced with permission.



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