I’m not being lazy – I’m flat out watching cricket
WITH Christmas behind us and many people taking the opportunity to have some time off work, now's the time to put your feet up and do absolutely bugger all for the next couple of days.
So it is perhaps fortuitous - or perhaps a great piece of social engineering - that the next instalment of The Ashes begins today.
For many years the joys of test match cricket were lost on me. I would sit down with my dad and watch this game that never seemed to end where not very much happened. Sometimes I'd wonder if it would be more entertaining to go outside and watch the grass grow.
But now I appreciate test cricket for what it is - Australia's socially sanctioned excuse for sitting on your arse and doing absolutely nothing for hours at a time.
The pace of modern life is frantic and the opportunity to do nothing is a rare commodity indeed.
So every summer, men in white stand around in the middle of an oval enacting an ancient ritual while television commentators and producers come up with new ways to dissect and chatter about the lack of activity.
As a spectator, you can drop in and out throughout the course of the match and catch up on what's happened within seconds.
While watching, you are freed from the normal responsibilities of life. Domestic chores, work responsibilities and parenting can be put on hold.
It is a form of nation building far cheaper and more effective than any government-sponsored endeavour.
Even when we are wallowing in the agony of defeat (as we have in recent years), we come together as a nation in hating those Poms.
I explained all this to a female friend who had no interest in cricket recently and she said she felt like she had been let in on a great secret and was planning to experience the joys first hand for the first time on Boxing Day.
So let's get comfortable and revel in the lack of activity that is test cricket.