It's dirtier than a toilet and our kids are sitting on it
MY KIDS are sitting on something that is apparently far more dirty than a toilet seat.
Car seats are stuffed full of evil germs and other nasties, according to a new study by Birmingham University.
When I read this report my heart pumped a little harder because I thought to myself, "There is a good chance I am going to KILL MY KIDS."
Our car seats are feral. I cannot remember the last time I pulled them apart and really washed and scrubbed them.
I would bet they each have about 2398 sultanas sitting trapped somewhere down there.
I am pretty sure the same car seat cavity has a few dozen band aids and a couple of empty packets of those squeezy yoghurt packets.
I would also hedge my bets there are lost socks and a few fairy wands lying in wait covered in grime and grit.
There could even be a guinea pig we lost a few months back, just hanging out with the league of lost toys and bits and pieces.
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According to this new germ study the average car seat houses 100 potentially dangerous bacteria per square centimetre. Oh dear!
The same study concluded the humble car seat has the potential to carry twice as many germs as the loo seat.
Our car seats have been subjected over the years to snot, vomit, sweat, spit and every other disgusting bodily fluid a cute little person can produce. I was even stupid enough to give my children bananas to eat in the car when I was a rookie mum.
You can imagine how that scenario ended. To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when she returned to the shop in Rodeo Drive to address that snooty sales assistant: "Big mistake! Huge!"
Do not bother with the old hate mail about my dirty car seats or the fact I give my kids those squeezy sachets when we are running late for swimming. I am already beating myself up mentally over the thought of all those creepy crawly bugs lying in wait to infect my kids.
Well, to justify the situation I am telling myself it is building their immunity system. The same as when they eat sand at the beach or pat the dogs and do not wash their hands. Brilliant for their immunity.
But this weekend I think I may pull those car seats apart. If there is no column next week you know I have been sucked into the Vortex Of Doom.
At least I will be able to survive on sultanas until the rescue crew retrieves me.