How to kill Lismore's werewolves, vampires and zombies
THE nights in Lismore have been very misty. Very werewolves of the Northern Rivers misty. Insomniacs look out into a spooky muted nightscape. To help you manage these nights I have researched how to kill werewolves, vampires and just for good measure, zombies.
A werewolf is human who turns in to a vicious wolf when the moon is full. If you think you might need protection from a werewolf, then you need silver. It's the only thing that can kill them. So a silver knife or bullet, if you have one handy, are your protection here.
If you come across a vampire you have several options. You can decapitate them and stuff their mouth full of garlic, put a stake through their heart or shoot them with a sacred bullet. Note: It doesn't need to be silver, just sacred. (Where do you get one of these?)
Now if it's a zombie invasion, you have concerns about, well they need their brains destroyed. I am advised that the best thing is to lop off the head with your handy chainsaw or machete. Incineration also works.
In these politically correct times no doubt there will be a group who wishes to defend the rights of the undead and supernatural to exist and go about their murderous and scary ways. Who chant Vampire lives matter! There may even be some crowd funding to support them and perhaps set up a refuge for them and offer counselling and people skills programs to help them better manage their their terrible unpeople-friendly reputations.
For me, discretion is the better part of valour, and so you won't find me out on the streets on those witchy woo nights when mist blankets the town. I'm far too chicken to put myself anywhere near an encounter with mythical /supernatural creature. But people do, I am told.
Some is teenage bravado, when a séance in a graveyard might seem like a fun idea. Others are dedicated ghost hunters who search out lost souls they say are trapped and trying to cross over into the afterlife.
Werewolves, vampires, zombies and ghosts- whether or not you believe, there's a lot of activity and chatter about these otherworldly entities. My recommendation is, stay on the safe side and on an eerie misty night where you can't see very far in front of yourself, turn up the heater, put on your jimjams and stay safely inside. Maybe have your silver knife, flame thrower and sacred bullets nearby, just in case