ROYAL WEDDING - Britain's Prince Harry and his fiancee Meghan Markle will tie the knot this weekend.
ROYAL WEDDING - Britain's Prince Harry and his fiancee Meghan Markle will tie the knot this weekend. Frank Augstein

How not to have a royal wedding

DEAR Meghan,

While it might be a bit late for my advice, you don't have to have a wedding full of stale old rituals which are no longer in tune with modern times.

Not to mention spending $34 million on the event.

While the Australian Securities and Investments Commission's MoneySmart website suggests the average cost of an Australian wedding is $36,200, the Kiltman and I had around 80 guests and it cost around 15 per cent of this amount.

Sure, a smaller, casual event is not for everyone, but here's how you can have a lovely modern, affordable and non-royal wedding:

Being given away - What's with this? You are a modern, independent person in your own right. In 2015 when I married my prince, I walked myself down the aisle in the company of my dearest friend, surfing sister and best woman Laura. No-one gave me away, although my father, step-father and plenty of male relations and friends were there to celebrate

Bouquet toss to single women - Really? Ok, I did throw the bouquet but one of the blokes caught it - and it must have worked because his girlfriend later decided to make an honest man of him.

Pricey venue - Our ceremony and party was held at the local golf club and the delicious and affordable catering beautifully provided by my Country Women's Association friends.

Cake - a gift from a talented CWA galpal who's fruit cake is to die for. It was decorated with a beaded heather and tartan ribbon ornament used by my great-great-great grandmother on her cake.

Celebrant - Another CWA galpal and no, the word obey was never used, although there was plenty about love, honour and laughter..

Music - The local rock and roll band comprising talented baby-boomers played brilliantly and cost less than the bar bill. They were spelled by our DJ, an 80-year-old host of a cult community radio show who spun the vinyl as well as any R&B pro.

Frock - An off the peg cream cocktail dress from the local department store, ditto the shoes with a fake-fur stole borrowed from a fashionista gal-pal.

Photos - A photographer mate from my newspaper did some photos in exchange for a bottle of good single malt and friends also send us images from their phones - we have a brilliant record of the event.

But however you roll with Harry, like all couples taking the plunge, I wish you the very best.



Telstra outage hits 4G, 3G and SMS services

Telstra outage hits 4G, 3G and SMS services

Bundaberg user got an error message checking outage page

PHOTOS: All the action from Beef Meets Reef

premium_icon PHOTOS: All the action from Beef Meets Reef

The weather was perfect for this family-friendly event at Evans Head

New police squad to target gun crime, drug supply

New police squad to target gun crime, drug supply

The unit will tackle large-scale, mid-level and serious crimes

Local Partners