Love gurus take tantric path to better relationships
LOVE problems? The Northern Rivers own tantric gurus can help.
Not that they like to be called that. Rather, Graeme Sudholz and Annette Baulch, of Lennox Head, prefer to be referred to as long-term committed relationship facilitators.
The couple, who own OzTantra, say tantra is about getting the most out of what is, or being present in the moment.
That said, they do teach tantric sex, as well as other couple skills. Mr Sudholz said: "One of the first questions we ask is how's your sex life.
"We believe most problems in relationships show up in the bedroom first."
Since moving to the area four years ago, from Victoria, the gurus have built up a national clientele for their sessions and workshops, some of which are held in Bali.
"We're not cheap but we are very good," said Mr Sudholz. "If we don't get results, we don't charge."
Business is booming and he believes there's plenty of people out there who need help.
"There were 50,000 divorces last year.
"The biggest mistake people make? Believing problems will go away."
Originally trained by Oceana and Icarus, world-renowned Tantra teachers, Mr Sudholz and Ms Baulch met at an emotional intelligence workshop in 2002 after they had both come out of long-term marriages.
Ms Baulch has a background in nursing and holistic health and a Diploma Certificate in Transpersonal Counselling, while Mr Sudholz is a qualified counsellor and tantric practitioner.
Their top tips to reignite the honeymoon spark:
1. Sleep together naked - our skin is the largest organ in the body and is longing to be nurtured.
2. Honour your partner - we all dampen our spirit with the negative judgments we make about ourselves.
3. Bring love back into sex - sex becomes boring and hard work when we let love run out and start performing instead. Seek to connect rather than stimulate. Go slowly, connect eyes, breathe. Less speed = more feeling.
4. See each other clearly - take the time to really listen to what they are saying (like you used to do)
5. Remove your exits. Too much TV, work, talking with friends, focusing on the kids, over eating, porn - all of these factors can negatively affect our relationships.
6. Plan a sex date - planned spontaneity is erotic.
7. Spend quality time on your own. Use it to learn something new about yourself and share it.