Gossip mags good for a laugh
IN JANUARY of this year, I wrote a column about Paris Hilton being in Australia to host a New Year’s Eve party.
The column also outlined a few truths about women’s magazines and the fact that there are, indeed, few facts if any contained within their glossy pages.
Strangely, the column generated a spiteful piece of mail from a barely literate serial correspondent, who took it upon himself to defend the dubious charms of PH and the gossip magazines.
Why, I couldn’t begin to explain. Perhaps he thought that by championing her cause she might somehow get to hear about it and come to visit. (Hate to be the one to tell you, but it’s never going to happen, buddy.)
I was reminded of the column last month, as I spent many an hour in the waiting rooms of various Northern Rivers health clinics.
To distract myself from the pain of a back injury, I read an awful lot of magazines that I’ve turned my nose up at in the past.
It’s an eye-opener to catch up with the fictitious lives of those in the public eye, sometimes several years after the magazines were published.
I can only wonder if the editors do a bit of backward time travel themselves and blush when they read the shocking fibs they’ve published.
According to various mags, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were expecting their second baby (dated April 2008 – either the world’s longest gestation, or the poor woman is carrying an elephant).
A photo showing Katie with a ‘baby bump’ apparently proved it. Upon closer inspection, it looked more like she’d just had a big lunch, but you never know, do you?
Angelina and Brad featured in an alarming number of stories, a lot of which included Brad’s ex, poor old Jennifer Aniston. If the stories are to be believed, Brad is so busy bonking the nanny and Jen, he must have no time to eat, sleep or make films.
One story claimed Brad and Jen were still in love, because they were wearing matching necklaces; said jewellery was remarkably featureless, so of course it’s entirely possible they bought them independently of each other.
We’re not talking the Hope diamond here, folks.
The other thing that struck me while I waited was why on earth don’t they replace magazines more often in waiting rooms?
Apart from the fact that sick people handle them and they are alive with microbial nasties, newer mags would keep the masses quiet for longer.