Bedroom bliss fades like doona cover

DURING those first few years of wedded bedroom bliss, hubby would do absolutely anything for me.

In the middle of the night, no matter how ridiculous the request or how fanciful the whim, nothing was considered too much trouble.

Keen to please and thoroughly attentive, this was a man on a mission to secure total happiness in the marital boudoir.

As a new bride if I gave so much as a shiver he would jump out of bed and slam the window shut.

Minutes later, should a bead of sweat dare to form on my fickle forehead, without hesitation he would jump back out of bed to fling the window open.

During our honeymoon phase he would probably have washed that window in the middle of the night if I'd asked.

Window closed, window open, ceiling fan on, ceiling fan off, a glass of water, lamp on, lamp off, more doona, less doona, anything I needed, no matter how inconvenient or demanding, it wasn't a problem.

Those were the days.

If I put my head on the pillow and couldn't settle down because I was worried we hadn't locked up properly, he would leap out of bed and re-check every door.

But like I said, all that attention and eagerness was in the first few years of married life. It's safe to say the honeymoon is over.

When you've shared a doona for as long as hubby and me the gloss starts to fade from the fairytale. Quite frankly I blame the kids. Until they came along hubby's hearing was almost as acute as mine.

If I heard a noise in the night and asked, "What was that?" my knight in shiny undies would throw back the doona without complaint and do a lap of the house.

These days it would take an earthquake or a visit from Claudia Schiffer to separate that man from his doona after 11.30pm.

The other night when I was in bed I heard something go bump in the night. Sure, I could have investigated it myself but I'm a married woman. I gave up the right to squash bugs, argue with mechanics or investigate noises in the dark when I said my vows so I gave hubby a shove.

"Did you hear that?"

No response. Obviously a bit of hysteria and a bigger shove was needed.

"Sweetie get up," I said shaking him for added urgency, "I've just heard a loud thump, I think someone's in the house."

"Hmm, what?"

"You're the man of the house, get up and go and check out that noise."

And my hero's reply?

"It's probably nothing, just a bit of wind, go back to sleep"

Wind? No way. Trust me, after years of sleeping beside hubby I know what wind sounds like.

"Don't worry," he muttered, "I'm the one sleeping closest to the bedroom door, if there are any intruders in the house they'll get me first."

While this was in some small way comforting, I still wanted to know what that noise was.

After more coaxing (and a cold foot to the shins), he got up, armed himself with a shoe and made the rounds.

"Well?" I asked when he came back to bed.

"One of the kids fell out of bed and was face down on the floor."

"So what did you do?"

"I left him there."

"You what?"

"Don't worry, I threw a blanket over him."

Like I said, in the middle of the night, nothing is too much trouble for my hubby.



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