CHEERS FOR THAT: Hogan asks Joyce a question about the $15m national carp control plan.
CHEERS FOR THAT: Hogan asks Joyce a question about the $15m national carp control plan. Cathy Adams

Barnaby: Opposition mud-sucking carp in need of herpes

THIS WEEK Page MP Kevin Hogan hand-balled Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce a question which resulted in the outspoken minister conflating the opposition with "bottom-dwelling mud-sucking creatures" which needed to be eradicated by herpes.

Mr Hogan's question time gift to My Joyce was: "Would the Deputy Prime Minister update the house on what action the coalition is doing to secure the health and productivity of Australian waterways not only for Page but for the nation?"

Mr Joyce announced that yesterday's federal budget will include funding for a $15m for a national carp control plan in an attempt to eradicate Australia's worst freshwater feral pest.

Then a new low of Barnabyisms flowed.

"We are afflicted in this nation with this disgusting, bottom-dwelling mud sucking creature for which the only control is a version of herpes. No we don't want to deal with carp," Mr Joyce said.

Although carp are an increasing problem for the waterways of the troubled Northern Rivers, some fisherman have criticised the herpes eradication method, claiming the dead fish could cause pollution.

Meanwhile, local Landcare groups are encouraging residents to eat the pest as a form of pest management.

Wonder what Barnaby would say to that?

 

Top 10 Barnabyisms

1.Who could ever forget the saga surrounding Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's dogs? Barnaby was pretty fired up over the pups skipping quarantine:

"It's time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States or we are going to have to euthanise them."

2. Back a few years ago, Barnaby said this when speaking of his daughters and the issue of same sex marriage:

"We know that the best protection for those girls is that they get themselves into a secure relationship with a loving husband and I want that to happen for them.

3. Then there was his interesting comparison between the Beatles and some actual beetles while discussing agricultural biosecurity:

"This is not the Fab Four, this is the terrible three, so let's try and track them down and kill them."

4. That time he slightly lost his cool when talking about his drought package:

"I've always said before the year's out, and it's going to happen before the year's out - and if it doesn't you can have another press conference and drag me backwards and forth through the prickles and kick the crap out of me."

5. When asked how the Coalition had performed in its first full calendar year in government:

He likened the first year of any new government to a "dog fight in a fog; where it's loud, noisy and furious and the targets are shadowy".

6. There was the time he referred to minor parties like the Palmer United Party or independents as "not so much philosophies, they're cults".

7. Plus he slipped in this litter dig at PUP leader Clive Palmer:

"Clive's first responsibility as an MP should be to turn up to work - it's a job not a pedicure."



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