Rigor?s flat out - Flat track bully
MAYBE it's something New Zealand could actually win.
Renowned slowcoach, Kiwi cricket opener Matthew Richardson, has challenged beefy Aussie batsman Darren Lehmann to a footrace following the Test series.
He's challenged the slowest runners from Pakistan, England and South Africa and usually lost, in what's become a quirky tradition.
To make matters worse the Kiwi, who is nicknamed 'Rigor' as in rigor mortis, wears a beige and chocolate brown speed suit similar to the one worn by Cathy Freeman in the 2000 Olympics.
But what if Richardson was to challenge the best of the Far North Coast LJ Hooker League?
After much consideration, Flat Track Bully would like to nominate Southern Districts captain Richard Nind.
In his younger days, Nind would have easily accounted for Richardson, but after years of cricket and soccer the knees of the batsman are not what they used to be. Besides, what would he look like in a speed suit?
SHANE Warne never ceases to amaze.
The man who is undoubtedly one of the best leg-spinners ever to play the game, unfortunately has a public image that Osama bin Laden would be embarrassed about.
His most recent comments regarding the drug scandal that rubbed him out of the game for one year are testimony to some of his problems.
Speaking to Inside Cricket, Warne said that he believed some team-mates let him down during the testing period.
Warne went on to say how disappointed he was with them.
But what about Warne's actions?
What about the way he let his teammates down?
Not only did he get suspended from International cricket for one year, but he was suspended on the eve of the most important cricket tournament, the World Cup.
He then tried to excuse himself from the situation by saying his mother told him to take them.
Taking a look through the results of last weekend's local cricket results Flat Track Bully was surprised to see J Kerry playing for Lismore Norths fifth grade.
Had the United States of America losing presidential candidate John Kerry given up his life in the States to come and live in Lismore?
Alas no, it was regular Norths player Jack Kerry.
Bolt from blue
THIS information comes by way of the Far North Coast Umpires Association after a thunderstorm interrupted play recently.
Apparently, many players were unaware of the new rules governing electrical storms and the resumption of play.
In the West Indies in 2003 a Test player survived a strike by lightning.
More recently a man died in Bomaderry after being hit by a lightning bolt while batting.
Because of these incidents cricket has adopted the recommendations of the Bureau of Meteorology regarding lightning.
If thunder follows a lightning flash by 30 seconds, or less, people in the open area are at risk of being struck by lightning.
In this circumstance, play must cease immediately and all players and umpires must leave the field and must not return until 30 minutes after the last lightning flash.
Players should not shelter under trees and should avoid contact with plumbing.
It is not recommended that players lie on the ground and they should also remove spikes.
So in other words, if you refrain from going to the toilet under a tree while wearing metal you should be right.
Take a bow
WELL done to the North Coast players from the Far North Coast who performed creditably at the Northern NSW Country Championships in Maitland last weekend.
Standout of the five players from this area was undoubtedly middle-order Casino batsman Sam Irvine.
Irvine hit a 100 against Central North and 50 against Newcastle and must be some hope of making the NSW Country team.
Lismore paceman Ian Gregory also performed well, snaring seven wickets.
Casino opener Adam Shields could also be some hope, despite not posting a big score.
Apparently, it was a tough carnival for all the openers from each of the four teams and as Shields has represented Country with aplomb before, he could still be considered.
Casino's Wade Sweeney and Ballina's Josh Slater made up the the team and by all accounts acquitted themselves well.