Fun new ways to go to Hell
By ANDY PARKS firstname.lastname@example.org BASIL WALLACE'S idea of Hell is being strapped down and being forced to listen to bad 80's music.
However, the Alstonville 18-year-old told The Star yesterday he was a Buddhist, so wasn't too worried about the Catholic Church's new list of deadly sins.
The Vatican has released a completely new list of things which could send us straight to Hell and eternal damnation.
The Church updated the seven deadly sins for the 21st Century, claiming they are becoming prevalent in what it called 'an era of unstoppable globalisation'.
On the list now are; Bioethical violations such as birth control; Morally dubious experiments such as stem cell research; Drug abuse; Polluting the environment; Contributing to widening the gap between rich and poor; Excessive wealth and creating poverty.
The new sins were announced by the Pope's second in command, Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti during a training seminar for priests in Rome aimed at encouraging a revival of the practice of confession.
He also named abortion and paedophilia as two of the greatest sins of our time, but in an interview he brushed off sexual assaults by priests against minors as 'exaggerations by the mass media aimed at discrediting the Church'.
According to Michelle Stone, a lapsed Catholic and owner of the costume and party supply shop 'Let's Party Lismore' the new sins aren't likely to get her back to Church.
"I grew up with the fire and brimstone approach as part of my religious education," she said.