With efficiencies like these, who needs bureaucracies?
THE public servant currently in charge of Medibank is about to get a pay rise.
Medibank's transition to a privately listed and operated company means 58-year-old George Savvides can expect his pay packet to jump from $1.2 million to anywhere from $2 million to $8 million.
When asked how the transition translated into such a massive windfall for Mr Savvides, Queensland Institute lead researcher Rourke de Bote pointed to market efficiency.
"Government bureaucracies are often bloated with armies of managers whose only job is to investigate service practices," he said.
"On the other hand, the corporate world is leaner, meaner, and kept strong by armies of consultants whose only job is to fire those engaged in service practices."
SMEagle Small Business Advocacy CEO Nissan Pintara argued that the situation "holds valuable lessons for SME owners".
"A useful tactic for owners is to change your title from inefficient words like 'owner' or 'proprietor' and instead take on 'CEO'," he said.
"Engaging with customers, balancing books and stressing over your second mortgage
"These are the kinds of changes the market values and you should see a quadrupling of your worth in one to two sittings of parliament."
A representative of Mr Savvides told Frisky Business to stop replacing the CEO's letterbox with money bags.
"How are you even doing this? We've had security cameras in use since they purchased the house.
"If we find out you're behind painting 'Make It Rain' on his roof we'll be informing the police."
Frisky Business is a satirical column.