Lifestyle

On behalf of all women, thanks Miranda Kerr - for nothing

Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career
Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career Contributed

ON BEHALF of the female population of the western world, I'd like to give a very big thanks to Miranda Kerr - for nothing.

It's hard enough convincing your hubby that, having carried an actual human being (and many donuts) inside your body for nine months, things don't just snap back into their original position when the baby arrives, without having the likes of supermodel Kerr legging it down the catwalk with everything bouncing in the right places mere months after giving birth to a 10-pound child.

My jaw dropped simultaneously with those across the world when Miranda strutted her stuff as a Victoria's Secret runway model 10 months after the birth of her son, Flynn, in November last year.

Columnist Amanda Coop.
Columnist Amanda Coop. Alistair Brightman

My own bub was only a couple of months old at the time and it's fair to say I was a tad envious of her post-baby figure (let's face it, I would have been a tad envious even if I hadn't just had a bub).

Now, if the Hollywood rumour mills are to be believed (and why wouldn't they be?) she's set to do it all over again - and make scores more of us lament our physical inadequacies.

Kerr has been spotted  wearing a "floaty" dress and emerging from a doctor's appointment (insert melodramatic gasp here) so I guess that's proof enough for all the magazines to run with the story.

I'm hoping Kerr herself and hubby Orlando Bloom would get something a little more concrete, such as a positive pregnancy test or an ultrasound, before sharing the news with their families.

It's hard to tell from the photos of her so-called "bump" whether she's really expecting, since it's still somewhat smaller than my "ate too much over the weekend" bump.

For the record, no magazines have run any photos of me in floaty dresses speculating that I might be about to unleash Coop Jr the Second upon the world (and just as bloody well, since I'm not and every woman knows the most embarrassing thing that can possibly ever happen to you is being mistaken for being up the duff when you're not).

No doubt if she is preggers we'll find out in due course and watch, seething, as she gains the approximate weight of the child, then drops the weight and flies off to Paris to do a bikini shoot all before the placenta has hit the medical waste bin.

I'm not saying Miranda should turn into a fat, stretch-marked blob just to make the rest of us feel better, but it would certainly help if she did.

What happened to the Aussie spirit of taking one for the team, Miranda?

Topics:  birth, editors picks, miranda kerr, model, motherhood, mum




Stay Connected

Update your news preferences and get the latest news delivered to your inbox.

3 easy dinner recipes your kids will love, and so will you

No Caption

THERE is a middle ground! Dinners fit for kids and adults.

How to reduce your child's risk of food allergies

ABOUT 90% of food allergies are caused by just seven foods.

5 good mental health habits for kids (and parents)

CRYING OUT FOR HELP: The demand for counselling support for children and young people is increasing.

FORMING good habits early is critical for your child's mental health.

Smack or no smack - where do you stand?

THE debate is reignited - is smacking acceptable?

Susie O'Neill: Why I stopped smacking my children

Swimming legend Susie O'Neill says she has stopped smacking her kids.

“I (smacked) because that’s what I knew growing up."

Introducing a step-parent into the family

Introducing a step-parent into the family can be stressful for the children, as well as the new parent.

THERE is no easy way to introduce a step parent into the family.

BIG FREEZE: Northern Rivers struggles through coldest night

The Northern Rivers has had its coldest night of the year.

The cold snap hit the region in a big way overnight

The Hard Word: Ballina freezes over

Meridian Theory at Ballina Hotel for the Hell Freezes Over festival. Photo Asagai Images

There was more going on in Ballina than just cold temperatures.

‘Fish and chips, not fish and ships’ at Yamba

Yamba residents join with Greens to protest Iluka mega port.

Pop-up protest at Yamba today against Yamba port industrialisation

Latest deals and offers

Lantern Parade Volunteers

Volunteers load lanterns for the parade.

Lismore Lantern Parade 2016

Experiencing t he dancing, music, and lights of the 2016 Lismore Lantern Parade.

Samba Blisstas drumming crescendo

Percussion collective the Samba Blisstas rip out the beats at the 2016 Lismore...

OPINION: Should we give up the great Aussie dream?

Generic housing Rural View.

First home buyers are struggling big time

Commercial Property June 16 edition

SNAPPED UP: A sushi shop in a106sq mground-floor tenancy with a 43sq moutdoor area in Southport Central Towers on the Gold Coast has sold for $954,000.

RealCommercial edition June 16, 2016.