Lifestyle

On behalf of all women, thanks Miranda Kerr - for nothing

Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career
Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career Contributed

ON BEHALF of the female population of the western world, I'd like to give a very big thanks to Miranda Kerr - for nothing.

It's hard enough convincing your hubby that, having carried an actual human being (and many donuts) inside your body for nine months, things don't just snap back into their original position when the baby arrives, without having the likes of supermodel Kerr legging it down the catwalk with everything bouncing in the right places mere months after giving birth to a 10-pound child.

My jaw dropped simultaneously with those across the world when Miranda strutted her stuff as a Victoria's Secret runway model 10 months after the birth of her son, Flynn, in November last year.

Columnist Amanda Coop.
Columnist Amanda Coop. Alistair Brightman

My own bub was only a couple of months old at the time and it's fair to say I was a tad envious of her post-baby figure (let's face it, I would have been a tad envious even if I hadn't just had a bub).

Now, if the Hollywood rumour mills are to be believed (and why wouldn't they be?) she's set to do it all over again - and make scores more of us lament our physical inadequacies.

Kerr has been spotted  wearing a "floaty" dress and emerging from a doctor's appointment (insert melodramatic gasp here) so I guess that's proof enough for all the magazines to run with the story.

I'm hoping Kerr herself and hubby Orlando Bloom would get something a little more concrete, such as a positive pregnancy test or an ultrasound, before sharing the news with their families.

It's hard to tell from the photos of her so-called "bump" whether she's really expecting, since it's still somewhat smaller than my "ate too much over the weekend" bump.

For the record, no magazines have run any photos of me in floaty dresses speculating that I might be about to unleash Coop Jr the Second upon the world (and just as bloody well, since I'm not and every woman knows the most embarrassing thing that can possibly ever happen to you is being mistaken for being up the duff when you're not).

No doubt if she is preggers we'll find out in due course and watch, seething, as she gains the approximate weight of the child, then drops the weight and flies off to Paris to do a bikini shoot all before the placenta has hit the medical waste bin.

I'm not saying Miranda should turn into a fat, stretch-marked blob just to make the rest of us feel better, but it would certainly help if she did.

What happened to the Aussie spirit of taking one for the team, Miranda?

Topics:  birth, editors picks, miranda kerr, model, motherhood, mum




Bangalow shopfronts may not be repaired for weeks

Some of the damage following an incident on Saturday where a car ploughed into shopfronts on Byron Street, Bangalow.

Owners of shops in the dark about when their footpath will be safe

REVEALED: New takeaway shop for Goonellabah

Plans to change this vacant shop in Goonellabah Village into a takeaway shop.

It includes a sandwich bar, salad bar, coffee machine.

How Jodie is staying strong and 'still battling each day'

Jodie McRae continues to fight each and every day, but reassures supporters that her charity will be in the good hands of chairman Jesse Smith when she passes.

She was given two days to live, but Jodie McRae's a fighter

Latest deals and offers

Ozzy cheated with 5 women in 5 countries: Sharon

Sharon Osbourne claims her husband Ozzy has cheated on her

The Big Music Quiz gives The Block a run for its money

Darren McMullen hosts the TV series The Big Music Quiz.

NEW challenger in TV ratings race shakes up Sunday night.

Britney Spears calls Carpool Karaoke appearance "awkward"

Britney Spears admits her Carpool Karaoke segment was "awkward"

Mariah Carey's sister Alison arrested for prostitution

Mariah Carey's sister has been arrested on charges of prostitution.

VIDEO: What did Thor do during Captain America: Civil War?

Short explains why Thor wasn't in Civil War film.

Hilarious mockumentary features star of the film Chris Hemsworth

Meet Toowoomba's top exotic dancer

WINNERS ARE GRINNERS: Exotic dancers (from left) Alice Morgan, Celeste and Frenchie are heading to the United States after competing in Miss Vault 2017.

Dancers vie for top spot at Toowoomba's only strip club

REVEALED: Pat Rafter's $18m Coast house on the market

Check out the photos of the Coast's most expensive property for sale

The "correction we had to have" in Gladstone's rentals

UPWARD MARCH: The rental vacancy rate in Gladstone has improved for the first time in more than a year, providing a confidence boost in the market.

Vacancy rates improve with signs that things are getting betterF

ISLAND FOR SALE: Cheap Fraser Coast island drops price again

Suna Island in the Great Sandy Strait will be auctioned by Ray White Hervey Bay on Saturday morning.

This is the cheapest island you will find for sale in Australia

How a family home can fit on a 250sq m block

This is what you can build on 250m2.

Here's the floor plan of a home built on 250sq m

Investors eye Gladstone's $4m island with resort approval

UP FOR SALE: Turtle Island is on the market.

CHINESE and Sydney investors flag interest in Gladstone island.

Take a sneak peek at this $19m Whitsunday mansion

Mandalay House features a private helipad.

Mandalay is currently on the market with an asking price of $19m